Cancer sucks!

"Uncle Dan"©Susan Komer

My older brother was diagnosed with advanced bladder cancer a few months ago…needless to say, this has rocked my world inside out.  I went to see him yesterday (its a 3 hour drive both ways) and began shooting photos like I always do…when everything I saw began to take me to a place with him.

My brother is a phenomenal self taught musician, and his passion for it exudes onto everyone around him….as we pulled away from his house in the dark & rain…my son looked back as Uncle Dan waved goodbye and said, “I miss him already…”

Cancer really sucks people…if you’ve had it; or have been close to someone who has, that’s all I need to say.  If you haven’t…I hope you never do.

I love you Danny!

Life is changing:

So my life is insane right now.  My youngest, the twins, have started high school...holy cow! My second born is moving down near me after being away for over 3 years....and my oldest is about to relocate for work to California...the exact opposite side of the country!  

I'm engrossed in my junior year of college...learning color film & studio lighting...along with a bunch of other must do type classes, such as art history & color studies.

It's crazy...and I never know what is going to change from one day to the next.  For example...my older brother was diagnosed with bladder cancer a month ago...it was give & take there for a few weeks as he underwent 2 surgeries within a two week period of time....but he's up for chemo now...he'll start that in a few weeks, he lives 3 hours away from me, so seeing him is hard since I'm back to school....but he's worth it...I'll find a way...somehow...

So to keep myself sane I'm engrossing myself in film...not so much digital...though I do play with it all the time...its the darkroom time that allows me to disappear...and that's what I'm doing.  

But for today...I want to post some pics of my brother...my love for him goes beyond reality...cancer just SUCKS!  We've seen so much of it in our family...but I don't think it ever occurred to me that it could hit one of my siblings...my heart is in torment...the selfishness of my own...as I can't bare to live in a world where I can't call him and know that he's going to be just who I need him to be....and my thoughts of his son, wife & grandbaby who are his world....and I consume myself in pain over how Danny, himself, must feel.

Please forgive the rant...and soak in my big brother...an amazing man, Father, husband, son; and the most EXCELLENT big brother a girl could ever ask for...I love you Danny!