A framed papier mache diorama

When the subject of diorama came onto the scene...I thought...good grief...again.  So instead of being annoyed with the task at hand, I found a way to make it interesting.  My recent passion for papier mache had my mind working over how I could create a more complex scene using only paper...and on what could I build it up from.

I knew what scene I wanted to portray...an artist just coming into the light.  Much implied...a very personal piece.  I came up with the idea of a wooden frame...sketched it out...hauled my husband off to buy wood and set him to work building me a frame.  Once I had that....I went to work on the sculpture.  I really love much of the sculptures qualities prior to the addition of color.  The color I most like is a simple watercolour stain though the use of acrylics became important to cover some of the bolder prints on the paper...future projects will be based on paper selection more so than this first as I feel the color hides the true art of the sculpture.

I do enjoy the piece...I enjoyed the work and I have a plan to do a series of these with specific theme though smaller in size...this one is approx 18" X 24"... My husband & wonderful assistant will be busy building me new frameworks...I will be busy on my next project...

The Man Suit experiment

This was more of a personal thing...something I've wanted to do for a very long time, but needed the right environment for it to feel accurate in.  It was important for me to really know some of the people involved, as much as is was for me to have a random audiences reaction as well.

This is me on a more....'daily' basis

I enjoy taking my kids on adventures...no matter where that might be; and shooting 100's of photos in a few hours just so I can bring them home to play with them some more.  I'm very into the outdoors, nature, real life and of course, art...though for me, everything seems to be art: I think that's why I love photography so much, because I can capture all of the beautiful art I see.

I've spent the past two years working on my education on a regional campus of OSU.  I have so enjoyed my time there and have met so many wonderful artists and scholars, as I transfer to main campus I will take many with me in my heart.  I've experienced changes within myself that are so dramatic that even I sometimes surprise myself, yet often still feel underestimated and overlooked by most.  I work hard, push myself to focus on my dreams and realize the importance of still reaching out to people...even if I'm stressed, because that's a big part of who I am...and it actually decompresses my stress level to know I've touched someone else in some way...left a positive piece of myself behind to hopefully lighten their own load...my need for that interaction is crucial to my creativity and hopefully sends out a positive energy that will encompass me as well, especially through my dark times.

For the past year I've been taking a lot of core art classes: drawing, life drawing, 2D and then 3D...all outside of my photography realm, though I was also able to take digital manipulation and 4D, which is the video work dealing with time.  For the most part, I've run around in jeans and t-shirts, crazy little outfits I've thrown together because I do believe that everything is art, so I do like to make a statement with how I dress.  That's just another part of who I am, color & style do represent a mood...a place sometimes...and its something I'm aware of...while most tend to see it more as an artistic quirk, dismissing me as perhaps a 'flake'.

BUT...I have a male instructor I've worked with...several...but a few have struck me as 'closet chauvinists'...some just as snobs...others who are just a bit insecure and come off as chauvinistic.  All stereotypes I've encountered in both men and women, but for me became a more personal issue as of late.

Much through the encouragement of a few wonderful instructors and one female instructor in particular, I found the strength to push on. I pushed beyond each bat of an eyelash, or ego stroke I watched that got all of the younger girls 'recognized' and it drove me insane.  The thought of using that as a way to further yourself is beyond frustrating.  I work hard...won an art award, have one of my pieces end up in the recognized art collection of the President of our University and still...no notice is taken, influential men still have no idea of who I am, and if they do, they don't acknowledge it.

I began to watch the way the system around me was overlooking many extremely valuable women who basically run campus...I began watching who was noticed, why and how.  A disturbing trend of false recognition for the purpose of self gain was all around me.  Granted, I know this goes on everywhere, the good with the bad...and I wouldn't change my choice of education for anything...OSU is a fantastic school.  But I felt the need to make a bold statement...something that said....take notice...and never underestimate the power of any human being...the end result can be quite humbling.

Enter the Man Suit

    

The idea of the Man Suit experiment hit me as the quarter came to an end.  I knew, as I worked the last night of the gallery for the graduation ceremony, that the perfect stage would be set to play-out this performance piece that had generated from feelings of being disregarded by 'powerful' men whose influence in a budding artist are an important part in their success in the academic realm of things.  To be a successful artist, people have to know your work, know your name, you need to win awards, have your art be seen...for me to define it is difficult, but for my art to really reach the masses, exposure is important: if you can't be known in a small pond...what are your chances of being known in an ocean?  The idea that these men were in some way standing in the way of my dream set fire to something inside of me.  Sure...they'd reached a certain level...to some degree a very high level of stature...but what right did they have to be dismissive of myself or the other powerful women around them?

The outfit itself was chosen with very specific purpose.  One...I did not want to be a man...I wanted to carry off a presence that men relate to with a sort of personal stature.  A fine cut suit...but, I wore black lace beneath it and a pair of killer heals because the fact that I am a strong woman needed to be obvious, giving myself an eye to eye level, sometimes towering level commanded a level of attention in itself.  No jewelry other than my wedding rings...a minimal amount of make-up...and that short sexy haircut that projected masculinity yet somehow inspired sexuality. Short hair on a woman...such a cliche you would think...but I did detect a question of sexuality, which I'd predicted, but I also found that my presence caused a resonant mood of nervousness among all of the men that I encountered.

Staying true to self...

While stature & presence were provided through an outfit, I felt it important to continue to just be myself.  I'm by nature a very outgoing and down to earth type of person.  The same person most of these people had met or seen at some point over the years on campus...the only difference was the way I was dressed.  I found it extremely interesting:  My female instructor liked the get up...wasn't aware of my intentions...but I did notice her noticing throughout the evening the odd reactions of the people around us...I'm not sure she was making the same connection as I was, but she did mention a few odd behaviors.  

I was suddenly being seen as a dominant presence, looked at, talked about, stared at from a distance and approached directly by those exact men who had up until then...basically overlooked me.  It was an interesting turn of events on many levels.  Both men & women tended to keep a certain distance from me.  All seemed interested in who I was...why I was there...but the men seemed skittish and only the educated women in the crowd felt sure enough to approach me with dialogue...unless they had known me prior to the event...those women seemed to want to be connected to me somehow...just by being in my presence they somehow achieved some of their own recognition.  I focused on the event...narrowing in on the graduates, congratulating them and their families, keeping things professional...representing our art department in a manner that showed respect for the work these men & women had put forward to achieve this moment...they deserved that.

It was the oddest sensation in the world.  Surely I proved a point with those men...if it goes anywhere...that's anyone's guess.  But I discovered the power behind being a successful and professional woman. I found the blend between how to maintain who I am while carving my path to success.  I've learned how to make people take notice and forced them to see beyond the cover most people project...I feel like if nothing else, they will remember Susan Komer, the professional artist who earned her respect as a strong, intelligent, talented and kind woman.

Such a simple thing...such a dynamic sense of power and respect...I strongly encourage any women who has never sported the man suit to do it...at least once.  I don't know how much others notice...but your own sense of strength will shine through...reminding even you...what you're capable of.  

  

An exercise in appropriation..

The following is an exercise in appropriation....I found this image in a public domain...being a fairly newly awakened feminist, I found myself drawn to the old photographs of the women's suffrage movement. In this particular photo there was only one woman pictured and I thought...what must she be thinking?  In a way to modernize that thought...as well as convey my own...I liked the idea of seeing 'WTF'...a very now acronym that surely would have been painted on protest signs had these men even attempted this movement today.

Thank you ladies...for all you've done...you're efforts are not forgotten.

Letting go...a video performance piece

Letting go...a video by Susan Komer

Letting go is a video I made as one more expression of how I'm dealing with a past of pain and abuse.  In the video I burn a manuscript, my manuscript, that I had written 12 years ago.  The manuscript walks through my story yet I keep this story my own by not using the manuscript directly.  My first thought was to shoot this at night, and then I decided upon the dawn because I thought as I begin a new phase of my own recovery, so to the day was dawning anew.

I opted to write out my thoughts rather than speaking for the same reason I tipped the camera just slightly off angle.  The point was to provide a bit of privacy for myself as well as allowing individuals to connect themselves more personally to the piece.

The only editing was to combine the two videos into one, to fade in the beginning and out the end, as well as providing a title page.

My thoughts on presenting this piece are to present in a classroom type environment.  I feel this is important because it has been through the past two years of my higher education where I've found both the strength and the ability to move beyond a past full of pain and into the life that has been awaiting me to join it.  I also feel that one story, can affect many...hopefully this one will help guide the masses.

The biggest surprise to me...I'm still digesting the scene, the moment, myself.  I had expected to get quite emotional, possibly even enraged by the act.  Instead I found myself empowered and somehow validated by revealing to the world what up until now had been kept secret.  And each time I watch the video I can feel new emotions coming forward, as if each day allows even more growth and less pain.

The most interesting thing I've discovered.  SILENCE...when I first posted the work in progress video blog, I thought there would at least be some kind of response...good or bad...just something.  But it's just like I had told my class...people are so uncomfortable with the topic itself...I don't think they even realize how their silence almost re-victimizes the victim.  Throughout my life I've battled that negative social silence, feeling even more and more silenced by it.  At this point the silence doesn't disturb me...but my curiosity about why does.

In the future I'd like to further experiment with that silence in different ways to see if I might be able to somehow break through it...as I refuse to be a social outcast any longer for an issue I was not responsible for.  If anyone should feel shame...let it be the abuser/abusers...not the survivor.  Hopefully this will be the beginning of breaking down those walls of silence for myself and others who have traveled down this similar path due to no choice of their own.