...from the bottom of a wine glass...a film by Susan Komer

This video is an exploration into the mixed emotions of growing up in an abusive home plagued by alcoholism.  I chose to shoot through a glass of wine to show not just the past, but my own present.  It seems as when life becomes heavy, many old doubts begin to rear their ugly heads and sadness penetrates my being...I feel the hurt creeping over my body like a spider overtaking its prey, as old skeletons begin to escape the confines of the closet....  I reach for that glass of wine, knowing it won't kill the pain... yet hoping it will at least take the sting off it.

The image of the spinning yard is also my now.  As my mind spins into a fog of memories too painful to remember, I search out simple relics from my life to grasp onto for even the slightest glimmer of hope.  Each image used is an object that for me holds both painful and pleasant memories.  The rotation of the yard is a reflection of me yet again spinning out, spinning down....the rotation of each object shows a repetitive memory that haunts me over and over...a time when a simple joy had caused chaos...

The background sound has been toned way down...the actual sound is rain on a skylight.  I felt rain was appropriate, as gray skies & rainy days tend to bring me down.  But as I played with the sound yet another memory came to mind...the sound of a record at its end...an empty drumming silence that runs circles as it waits for someone to remove the arm, what an appropriate connection to tie the entire piece together.

I felt it was important to express the constancy that accompanies a childhood of abuse.  I have been free from that life for some time...but the pain circles back, the sweet becomes bitter, the adult once again becomes a child....from the bottom of a wine glass.

...a glance from the bottom of a wine glass.

...liquid amplifier.

So my upcoming project is an experimental film...for the layman that means that it will be a bit nonsensical.  Just remember, this movement in film was to break away from commercial Hollywood and create films that made the viewer interact in some way.  Usually in the sorting out of seemingly random moments that have appeared in no particular order, in turn... causing the viewer to try to make sense of the organized confusion.

For this project, my mind is swimming with idea's but none quite fit the parameters of what I've been thinking; until today.  I was filling a glass with wine, as I tend to do after a hard day, when it hit me.  Growing up in a home of alcoholism and abuse, I often find myself turning to the false sense of numb that alcohol provides, and fight desperately not to allow myself to fall into the hole, though at times, I do.  The problem is that for me, the journey to the bottom of that glass weaves me through some pretty hurtful and harsh terrain.  I hope to use this project to project through random objects from my past, an emotional journey amplified by alcohol.  

I believe the due date for this project is a week from tomorrow or Monday...so keep watching and be sure to share your thoughts...outsider opinion is always valued:)  

If you follow my blog you'll have current updates of my posts as they come.  Please try to remember, as an artist, anything goes...so please keep an open mind.