Day 31: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "My little buddy"

Day 31: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "My little buddy"

January 31, 2013

"My little buddy"...Dozer is our little rescue pup.  We aren't sure how old he is...his teeth have been so damaged along with everything else, that the vets can't really tell us his age...we're guessing he's about 5 but the gray in his face makes me think he's a bit older.  This little guy was left for dead...tied to a tree and abused to the point his little feet pads looked melted off.  Once rescued, a puppy mill got their hands on him making his situation even worse!  He could not breed because of prior abuse but they sure did try...the little guy was just in awful shape when I responded to the ad to 'adopt a rescue' when in truth...they just wanted their money back!  My husband sat in shock as I wrote the check to buy this miserable looking little guy...he couldn't believe I'd pay money for an animal that looked half gone already.  But in my mind...I just couldn't leave him there...NO WAY!  I wrote the check without thinking twice and got him to the vet ASAP...we've had him now for just over 2 years and he's the best little buddy ever! I love puppies as much as the next guy/gal...but there are pups out there like Dozer, who didn't even have a name when we found him...but he has been so loving, so attached & committed to every member of my family and friendly to every person he meets...he didn't deserve that awful start to life...and we've done our best to help him forget...or at least to know that life can be good and he does deserve all the kisses and cuddles in the world!

 

Day 30: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "book-making"

Day 30: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "book-making"

January 30, 2013

Many of you know I'm a student at Ohio State University, and this semester is flat out loaded!  Book-making is a required course in which we are learning to make art books.  Today I was working on a hardcover pamphlet...which these seem simple enough to do, until you sit down and seek perfection in your edging and board covers.  That's when you realize how exact everything must be to truly achieve a quality piece...today was my first try at board covering, though it was not a complete success; I did find what I need to do differently...so I've learned from my mistakes.  I need to have four different types done, two of which I have successfully completed; but I will be giving this another try!

Day 29: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "family dinner, Komer style"

Day 29: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "family dinner, Komer style"

January 29, 2013

Today's post is a double feature...that's right folks...two portraits...more family style (though my two oldest boys aren't present)  I have had a pretty stressful couple of weeks, what has gotten me through?  ....my family!  Some people think we can be a bit odd...I think we're great!  Having a group that just makes me laugh and rolls with every moment right along with me is the most awesome thing I have going for me.  Laughs in life...or laughing at life can be hard to do sometimes...that's when you need most to make those moments happen.  We're a pretty fun bunch of people, especially when we're all together...oh goodness...if my older two had been around this could have been rolling on the floor laughter...but they do grow up...sad as that may be...but we're still yucking it up with them close at heart!  Some things will never change...I can just see me & Shawn years from now still doing asparagus fangs over dinner...at least I sure hope so!

Day 28: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "friggen homework"

Day 28: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "friggen homework"

January 28, 2013

As much as I enjoy the majority of my classes...even the homework for the most part....its the readings that kill me.  So easy to fall behind on reading and then playing catch up becomes the battle.  This semester I just feel buried beneath an unsurmountable amount of busy work.  It seems that every class I'm taking is pushing this busy work and finding some way to be sure we're doing it...such as short summaries or suggesting that one exam question will come specifically from the readings...added work just to give it...like saying, go here (somewhere outiside of campus on our own time...as if we have it) ...view that...write a paper...and then offerring maybe 2 points for the work.  ALL of my classes this semester have several of these outside on our own time events that monopolize time we could be using to complete the assigned projects which have short deadlines...or they use our classtime for these events telling us we'll have to get our projects done on our own time.  Perhaps if I didn't also have children to raise it wouldn't be so tough... BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...yes I'm venting...no point in complaining...it is what it is...and I have to play catch up RIGHT NOW!

Day 27: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "prepping my canvas"

Day 27: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "prepping my canvas"

January 27, 2013

It has been a very busy weekend of time spent reading, writing papers, working in the darkroom, stretching & prepping a canvas...along with day to day life!  Tonight I put the last coat of gesso on my canvas which needs to be prepped & ready to go by Tuesday for my first shot at a color painting...below the portrait I'll post my first shot of my first black & white on dry canvas...UGH...very difficult, and shows I have much to learn.  That's what its all about though...and exactly why I'm studying for my BFA...photography is something I enjoy more than anything else...but all of the arts spark a passion in me. I'm hoping that with some time and practice, I won't be so embarrassed of my paintings!

Day 26: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "FAILED"

Day 26: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "FAILED"

January 26, 2013

So today I shot 107 different shots...wasn't happy with ANY of them!  I felt defeated and frustrated...changed locations and positions and lighting and approaches...NOTHING made me happy.  I thought I'd post one that just says...well...sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...I still had fun, and tomorrow I'll try again.  I think my issue today was that I was shooting too close to yesterday's thoughts...I need to keep changing it up...falling back is almost like falling down...I skinned my nose on the pavement today...tomorrows a new day and you'll see me back here with something new!

Day 25: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "why? why not!"

Day 25: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "why? why not!"

January 25, 2013

I did this one because so many people say things to me like, "I wish I could..."  My question...why not? We all have it in us to be whoever we want to be...for me...each day is a surprise.  Its not about if I can...its more about if I feel like it!  I am not so easy to read...not just one face, feeling or level of human being...I am anything & everything and being able to just dress, look or be however I feel on any given day is my freedom and yours.  So let it roll...feel it...be it...embrace it all...we only have one life and I'm planning on living mine as I am..no more restraints on who I am...hell...I'm not even sure who that is which is the complete beauty of it all!

Day 24: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "home school"

Day 24: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "home school"

January 24, 2013

For me to be able to finish my own education, I needed to move my family to the 'big city' where an education for my children would not quite have been all we'd have desired.  To make it all work, I decided to home school the kids...not a choice made lightly!  So when I finish my own day of classes, I come home and do theirs...and THEN I get to do my own homework.  We tried the hour commute for nearly 3 months and it just wasn't happening...so now...though I have more time and easier lab & studio access...my life is always school...either my own or theirs.  For me, my own education...a dream I've held onto for over 20 years...makes this all worth it!  One day, I'll be finished...something I'm doing for myself but will hopefully be a benefit to us all...So when I'm feeling totally beat...I keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel...and remember that the sacrifices I'm making now serve a greater purpose...I HOPE!

Day 23: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "true appreciation"

Day 23: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer "true appreciation"

January 23, 2013

Today is to show my appreciation for the men & women of photography who have gone before me.  While the internet can provide glorious images & multitudes to the masses...there is nothing like seeing an image in person, or in a finely crafted book of works.  I love to lose myself in the works of other artists...to admire, learn and find inspiration.  While shooting and doing the work is of utmost importance...I do believe that studying those who have come before us is also an important factor in learning how to nail a shot, try something new, frame your own vision etc...I spend hours reviewing books on photography and often find myself more than inspired and often learning something new...even if just in the idea or attitude behind the image.  Feels pretty good to relate...its nice to know that some of the thoughts in my head are shared!

Day 22: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "meat diversion"

Day 22: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "meat diversion"

January 22, 2013

I have to admit that I have a very hard time eating meat...especially chicken!  My mind just takes me to such a visual place that unless I can completely block out what I'm eating...I can't eat it.  Tonight we had chicken...living with 3 hearty meat eaters makes my diversion to meat difficult, after doing this shoot...needless to say...I did NOT eat that chicken.  I wouldn't so much call myself a vegetarian...YET...but someday, I hope to never have to see flesh on my plate again.  No begrudging anyone else...its just so not for me!

Day 21: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "in sickness & in health"

Day 21: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "in sickness & in health"

January 21, 2013

Day 2 of feeling like I've been drug behind a truck...aches & pains...fever and upset stomach...On days like today, I'm so grateful to have my hubby around to pamper my tired body. After 20 years of marriage, he'll still cuddle me under a blanket, bring me a warm cup of tea, or even come wash my back while I let the steam of a hot bath ease my sore muscles...Even when I'm feeling as bad as it gets, he's there for me...my best friend...in sickness & in health...

Day 20: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "sick day"

Day 20: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "sick day"

January 20, 2013

Not feeling well today...ear ache, sore throat...yeah...that's all, I need my heated bean sack and some rest!

Day 19: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "scary movies"

Day 19: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "scary movies"

January 19, 2013

I have always loved a good scary movie, even though I'm a huge chicken!  Watching them with my little chickens cuddled on the couch makes them even better!

Day 18: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "passed out"

Day 18: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "passed out"

January 18, 2013

Today has been one very long day...It started at 8 a.m. with a very heated debate in sociology that took me way outside of my comfort zone when the teacher asked ME to be the mediator...WTH was he thinking...that stress hung with me for most of the day until I went and enjoyed a dinner out with the hubby & my twins.  I quickly let go of the day and when we got home...though I had to do this...passing out is what I had wanted to do and will do soon!  But I am committed to this 365 day self portrait series...so...here it is...yep...tired but not defeated!

Day 17: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "attack"

Day 17: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "attack"

January 17, 2013

These first few weeks back in school have been hell...one thing after another has gone wrong and my work load is strangling.  I thought it was time to be a bit playful while still revealing a bit of how I feel...attacked by one strong force...but still fighting back!

Day 16: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "the dark"

Day 16: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "the dark"

January 16, 2013

Today's portrait is outside of the photo lab...I did an invert on this one since the class is about working with negatives in the darkroom to create prints...after working for 3 hours in the dark, my brain begins to view even the light in an inverted context...seeing all light as dark and dark as light...it can be quite surreal to spend a large period of time in the dark, to begin to see the world reversed in the image of a negative...and most excellent to the photographers eye!

Day 15: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "paint class"

Day 15: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "paint class"

January 15, 2013

After shooting in the photo lab yesterday...I decided to give you a bigger glimpse into my life on campus.  This shot was taken at the end of my painting class...I had most things cleaned up and put away, but I needed to gather the last of my things to run off to catch my next class.  While everyone else had moved on...except for my instructor...I shot this pic while packing up my bag and was nearly late for my next class.  Photography is so addictive for me...I could have cared less if I were late...I wasn't...I had to run...but made it on time and couldn't wait to get home to see what I'd caught on my camera...yes..its safe to say...photography IS my priority!

Day 14: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "working my film"

Day 14: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer "working my film"

January 14, 2013

Today was one of my long days at school...I had to go in a bit early for my late class to cut some negatives for my film/darkroom class and thought you all might like to see a little something I LOVE to do!  To be able to develop film...make my own prints...there's something so magical about it all...a true passion of mine.

Day 13: A tribute to Ridiculousness Self Portrait by Susan Komer

Day 13: A tribute to Ridiculousness Self Portrait by Susan Komer

January 13, 2013

I was messing around today to do a shot for my art challenge which was "I can't believe my eyes" when I decided the look...well it just fits my all time favorite tv show on MTV.  Ridiculousness with Rob Dyrdek, Chanel West Coast and Sterling "Steelo" Brim; it is just one of my all time favorite shows!  Chanel is like my idol in some sense...she's just a girl...like me...but with some mad skills & off the chart whippin' out of the box personality...so today's post goes out to them...For Rob & Steelo...CREDIT CARD...for Chanel...West Coast baby!  Thanks for all the laughs...BEST show ever!

Day 12: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 12: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

January 12, 2013

I had a conversation with someone today who talked about how the eye is the window to a person's soul...I wonder...true or false...or perhaps if it is true...it just can't be captured by the camera's eye...or can it?

Day 11: 365 self portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 11: 365 self portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

January 11, 2013

It has been one hell of a week...but hell yes...I'm tough enough!  BRING IT!

Day 10: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 10: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

January 10, 2013

This has been a very busy week...while I do the mundane & necessary, my mind is working through a paper I have to write about excellence.  I had to read an article comparing competitive swimmers at different levels and how they achieve excellence as well as how we as society perceive their excellence. It was very interesting to compare my own thoughts of achieving excellence or success; I find myself searching comparison to my own life.  Social stratification, as well as our own perceived 'position' in this life can either make or break us.  Sometimes we have to open our own doors to success if we hope to achieve excellence in this life...but even excellence is merely a perception of the person and the goals they have set for themselves.

I think one of the biggest things I took from this article was that to achieve it...we need to look at what's in front of us and attack each task as if we've done it before.  Stop judging ourselves and do our best...qualitative rather than quantitative...understanding that you can't do better by doing more...but rather by learning to do better.

So while I sat, eating chicken wings & watching the news, my mind circled with thoughts of 'what can I do better', 'what new door do I need to open', how can I 'push myself beyond without compromising who I am'...'how can I reach my own perceived idea of excellence'...'will I allow society to determine that for me', 'will I cave in to the idea that I am where I am and always will be'...so many thoughts...so little memory of my quickie meal...a load of questions to put forth in the paper I need to write...which provided I give it my best...will be excellent! (...at least in my mind)

Day 9: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 9: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

January 9, 2013

This week has been all about being prepared for my new classes.  The material list for each of my studio classes is insane!  Easily $200 per class outside of tuition...I begin my painting class tomorrow and have bought most of what I need, but I'm desperately trying to organize my life as well as my supplies.  I'm not the type who likes surprises, yet the life of a student seems to be full of them!

Day 8: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 8: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

January 8, 2013

Okay...so today's post is a bit of a cheat.  I do a daily challenge with prompts in an art group I belong to...today's prompt was...when you wear those dresses...I decided to roll with it because I can remember wearing nothing but dresses as a little girl.  My mother even use to make me dress after dress...yes...I was one of those little girls who played in a dress even though I was a horrid tomboy!  Now...well...I hate them!  I am just not a dress girl at all...pant suits...fine...even a skirt now and then if I can 'art it up'...but dresses...I feel like a fish out of water in a dress...YIKES!

Day 7: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 7: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

January 7, 2013

Today's portrait is all about frustration and lack of control...I began a new semester today and it seems like no matter how well I prepare, something within the system goes wrong and throws all of my careful planning right off course.  Today HAS BEEN one of those days and I have another class to attend this evening...good grief...it would be nice if at least this one class goes as planned!

Day 6: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 6: 365 self-portraits for 2013 by Susan Komer

January 6, 2013

Up until now, I've been on winter break from school...tomorrow I start back to class & hitting the books.  In this photo, I'm getting a head start on reading for my narrative film class.  Spring of 2012 I had the chance to take an awesome class that allowed me to test the waters with film work using final cut pro & sound cloud.  I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it at first, but quickly fell in love with it!  Beginning Tuesday, I'll have the history of narrative film to study and I'm already very enthused!  In high school I never really had much use for studying or homework, but I've waited 20 years to attend college and I'm soaking up every moment like a sponge...so don't be surprised if my images shift in different directions: I have 3 art classes this semester so I imagine my creative flow will be all over the place!

Day 5: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 5: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

January 5, 2013

Today's photo is about relaxing with my thoughts...for as long as I can remember, nothing soothes the soul the way a hot bath does...the difference between now & then...the soft light of candles and a glass of my favorite wine.  

Day 4: 365 self-portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

Day 4: 365 Self-Portraits of 2013 by Susan Komer

January 4, 2013

Today I was thinking back, drifting into old memories that always made me smile.  When I was growing up, my father & uncles all wore their hair greased back in tidal waves & duck tails; slicked back with grease, small plastic black combs in their back pockets to keep those looks fresh.  When I look back at old photos, those hairstyles have always brought a smile to my face...a different time, a different place...yet one I have always embraced in my mind and heart.

Today is a tribute to the men in my life...who at the time all seemed like tough boys: the first memories I have of self-expression in those early days when it wasn't so easily embraced by others...but likely where I've found the courage to always express myself as I am, continually falling away from the norms, coloring outside of the lines...free to be me.

Day 3: 365 self portraits by Susan Komer for 2013

Day 3: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer for 2013

January 3, 2013

For today's self-portrait I decided to choose a happy memory from my childhood.  As a little girl, my older siblings use to put on little plays for my younger brother & I by drawing little characters on their chins.  To honor fresh beginnings, I'm moving away from hurtful memories and learning to focus on the positive...this was definitely one of them!

Today I introduced my children to Felicia, my chin character, and we made a little video...the black & white is my portrait for today, but below you'll find a little extra as Felicia is quite the camera ham!

Felicia

Day 2: 365 self-portraits for 2013, by Susan Komer

Day 2: 365 self-portraits for 2013, by Susan Komer

January 2, 2013

After much thought and over 100 shots today, I decided on this photo as an expression of renewal and new beginnings.  A peeling away of the old...letting go of the useless, the dead and moving into a transformation of new thoughts and ideas.  I sit upon the lower step...a full stairway yet to climb...I will do so with a new outlook, fresh perspective, fresh self and firm determination...I hope...

Day 1: 365 self-portraits by Susan Komer for 2013

365 Self-portraits for 2013

For quite some time I've wanted to try to shoot a self-portrait each day of a full year.  A few days ago, a friend of mine completed a series of 52; one for each week of the year.  I thought, hmmm...this is doable...when I announced I'd like to try that, another friend informed me that he has done one a day for the past 15 years...yes...I said 15 years!  If he can do that, surely I can do a year!

So that is my challenge for the year...it doesn't seem like a difficult task, until you try it...it can be quite a humbling experience to fail at such an 'easy' task: I know, I've had this thought for years and am just now seriously taking on the challenge.  I've decided to blog each one as a way to also get serious with my efforts to keep this blog going and to try to create some sort of following for my work.

This first image is to represent a fresh start to this new year...washing away my own insecurities and moving ahead with a clean slate.  I encourage you all to leave comments &/ thoughts as constructive feedback is always a benefit to an artist.

Thanks for stopping by...Susan